The 'C' Word
by Demon's Halo
Summary: Four teenage boys. Four different types of cancer. One journey. AU, Akuroku and Zemyx.
1. Sentencing

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

The 'C' Word

Chapter 1: Sentencing

It started out innocent enough.

Fatigue...

Unexplained bruises...

A little weight loss...

All in all, it wasn't _that_serious, Roxas figured. He was pretty active, that'd explain the fatigue and weight loss, and as for the bruises... well, he was a skateboarder, it came with the turf. And so, he and his family explained it all away. That is, until his symptoms got worse.

Night sweats...

Frequent colds that he couldn't seem to get over...

That pounding headache...

It wasn't until that fateful night when, while brushing his teeth, he noticed some pink in his spit. Upon closer examination, he realized his gums were bleeding.

That was when the tests began. A whirlwind of doctor visits that always seemed to be drawing closer to the inevitable sentence.

Leukemia.

Of course, Roxas knew that wasn't what was wrong with him. Only old people and little kids got leukemia. Roxas was fourteen. Definitely not a kid anymore, and certainly not an old person, no matter how he felt.

And yet somehow, after multiple physical exams, blood test, and even a horrifying bone marrow biopsy, Roxas found himself in a dopey hospital room, in a dopey pediatric cancer ward of a dopey hospital.

His family was talking to him. Simple, comforting things. Roxas wasn't paying them much attention, though. Such a whirlwind of things had happened over the past few days. He was having a hard time processing all that had happened. It occurred to him that he should ask a question, or something, but nothing came to mind. So he kept his mouth shut.

"Roxas...Roxas!"

Jolted out of his daydream, Roxas turned to look at his older twin, vaguely aware that the other inhabitants of the room were staring at him.

"Huh?"

Sora's vibrant blue eyes were downcast. "I just wanted to say that I'll see you later." He gave his brother's hand a light squeeze. His face betrayed his guilt over being healthy while his twin was sick.

The rest of the Strife family said their good-byes, big brother Cloud giving Roxas' hair one last ruffle before they left. Before they left Roxas alone with two complete strangers.

Two complete strangers with cancer.

Suddenly, Roxas realized that the strangers were still staring at him. They were huddled together on a bed, cards gripped in their hands. A dirty blond and a fiery redhead, probably only a little bit older than Roxas. They had a gaunt, sickly look about them- chemotherapy. Roxas shivered; He'd look like that soon.

The redhead spoke first, "So, your name is Roxas." His green eyes sparkled slightly, "The name's Axel." Roxas blinked, studying him. Two little triangles were tatooed beneath his eyes. It didn't seem like the normal style of a cancer patient.

"He's Demyx." This... Axel continued, jabbing a finger over to the dirty blond.

The teen gave a goofy little grin and raised a hand. "Hey, welcome to the ward." Roxas couldn't help but stare at him as well. Between he and Axel, he looked sicker. His blue eyes were sunken back into his face, his color was worse, and he looked gaunter. Still, he looked cheerful. Demyx followed Roxas' gaze to his hair. The sides had been shaved close to his skull, it was only just now growing out in thin, brittle strands. He chuckled nervously. "Brain tumors, had to cut me open to do a biopsy..." He tapped a row of stitches, "Shaved the other side to match, you know?" He ended rather quickly."

Roxas nodded slowly, remembering his own bone marrow biopsy. But then again, this guy had stuff cut out of his _head. _The blond boy shuddered again.

"And the bookworm over there is Zexion." Axel jabbed his thumb at a small boy in the corner of the room. Roxas hadn't noticed him before. The slate-haired teen was buried in the pages of a thick book. He seemed to be paying no notice of them.

"Ah, don't let it bother you." For a moment, Roxas had no idea what the older blond meant. Surely, he couldn't mean having _cancer._ Not to let having _cancer_bother him. "Zexy's like that to every one."

Roxas stared. Don't be bothered because Zexion was ignoring him. That's what Demyx meant, not to be bothered that Zexion hadn't said 'hi' yet. Had he really just taken a completely benign conversation and make it out to be totally about cancer? Roxas swallowed.

"So... Roxy... You go to school around here?"

Roxas rubbed his temples, "Look... I don't really want to talk right now..."

Pursing his lips, Axel shrugged, "All right, suit yourself. Got any three's, Dem?"

The blond paused. His poker face faltered, before he threw a card over at Axel. "How d'you always know?!" In response, Axel only laughed.

Under different circumstances, Roxas would've smiled. Axel had a nice laugh. But he definately wasn't becoming friends with these hollow shells of human beings.

He wasn't like them. He definitely wasn't like them at all.

Involuntarily, Roxas shuddered. Tomorrow, he'd be receiving his first dose of chemo.

END

Do any of you know what an aneurysm is? It's when a blood vessel randomly pops in a person's brain. My spelling and comma (lack of) use has been known to cause them. With this in mind thank you Lili93 for fixing up this atrocious mess.

You rule more than pudding cups.


	2. First Dose

**Sorry to all those who reviewed or are currently watching this story. My wonderful beta lost the notebook this was written in, in her room and I've only recently gotten it back. This chapter was halfway beta'd before she died of a brain aneurysm, so I'm hoping I can get by on my own and with spell checker. Keep your fingers crossed. Without further ado here's your disclaimeR**

**--I have not now nor ever owned any of the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. The events in this chapter are completely fictitious and totally Akuroku-lious--**

**Demyx fluttered nervously around the bathroom door. The sounds of heaving were audible even from the other side of the door. "Erm... Roxas? Are you ok in there?"**

**Sighing, Axel ran a hand threw his flaming hair, "Of course he's not ok, Dem. He's sick from chemo drugs."**

**At this time the bathroom door banged open, Roxas stumbling out of it. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. Last winter the entire Strife clan had caught a bad stomach bug, but that was nothing compared to this. It was like his insides were being ripped apart by a radioactive pick.**

**"Yeah... chemo sucks..." Demyx scratched the back of his head. Roxas grunted and collapsed on his bed. "They give you stuff for the nausea."**

**"Won't give us any marijuana, though." Axel grumbled, "I mean I offered to bring some in--I know this guy-- I even offered to share with the whole ward. Still said no." Axel shook his head.**

**Roxas rolled over on his bed, "So... does it get much worse?" He was hesitant, not really sure if he wanted to know.**

**"Well..." Axel and Demyx looked at each other. "Depends. What have you got?" Demyx asked, "If you got something they can cut out, they'll load you up with chemo and cut if out, the load you up some more."**

**Roxas shook his head 'no'. "Leukemia." He frowned, hating the way the word tasted in his mouth.**

**"Mmm...." Axel rubbed his chin, "Nobody talked to you about this?"**

**Roxas looked down, embarrassment creeping onto his face, "It didn't really process."**

**The two older boys nodded sympathetically, "Don't worry; you're probably just looking at a couple of rounds of chemo till it goes into remission." The three laughed nervously.**

**By now Demyx had retreated to his own bed on the opposite side of the room. 'You--ah--learn a lot from hangin' around the day room... all the kids there have got some kind of leukemia." Demyx undoubtedly said this to comfort Roxas, but it wasn't working. He's seen the face of childhood cancer many times on late night television. The thought that he was one of there number wasn't comforting at all.**

**A blond haired nurse poked her head in, "We're headed out to the dayroom if you four are feeling well enough." She retracted.**

**Axel raised a delicate eyebrow, "You coming, Roxy?" The younger blond glowered, there was only one person who could call him, Roxy, and that was his mom because she'd ground him if he talked back, "I guess that's a no." Axel grumbled.**

**In the meantime Demyx had bounded over to Zexion's bed, "Hey, Zexy, come out with us!"**

**The slate-haired teen glared up at Demyx. Roxas sensed this was an age-old battle. Zexion grumbled and dog-eared a page. Next to him, Axel chuckled to himself.**

**The red-head stood, "All right, see you, Roxy."**

**Roxas shot up in bed causing another wave of nausea wash over him. No way was he going to be left alone in that room. Both Axel and Demyx grinned when they saw him sulking after them.**

**"Well look who decided to join us, Dem." Roxas gave Axel a shove. The only intensified the laughter. Axel threw a skinny arm around Demyx's neck, " 'mazin'! We got the Bookworm ****and**** Mr. 'Tude out of the room. The hospital should hire us as nurses."**

**Demyx giggled, "Bet that creepy doc would like to see you in a nurse outfit." Roxas could only wonder who the 'Creepy Doc' was.**

**As soon as the four entered the dayroom a mad rush of children swarmed around Demyx, pulling him off to play. Roxas turned around to Zexion, but the tiny bookworm had already snuck off to a corner with his book.**

**Axel laughed again, and limped over to a chair. He settled down into it, stretching. Having no where else to sit, Roxas sat down next to him. "He's a nice guy." Axel muttered nodding toward Demyx. The blond was swarmed by small children, demanding to be read to.**

**Roxas nodded, wondering where the older blond found the enthusiasm.**

**Beside him Axel sighed and stretched again.**

**"What's up with your leg?"**

**"Osteosarcoma." Axel grunted. Noticing Roxas' confusion, he added, "Bone cancer."**

**"Oh." Roxas blinked, "Sorry." He muttered though not exactly sure why.**

**Axel shrugged, "Broke my leg on the basketball court. That's how they knew I was sick. Just got the cast off a couple of days ago."**

**"That... really sucks."**

**"Could be worse."**

**Roxas nodded over to Zexion. The slate-haired teen seemed totally unconcerned with the outside world. "So what's up with him?"**

**"Like medically or what?"**

**"No, why's he so anti-social?"**

**Axel shrugged, "I dunno. He was like that when I got here." The red-head was interrupted by a small girl. Or rather a gaggle of small girls.**

**There leader held up a doll, "Come play dolls with us."**

**Axel sighed, not wanted to go, but not wanting to turn them down, "Come on, Roxy."**

**"What? I-no!"**

**Roxas' stomach flipped as Axel grabbed his hand. The other's long finger's wrapping around Roxas' smaller hand. "Oh, come on it'll be good for you." He gave Roxas a bright smile.**


	3. First Crush

Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts it would have a lot less to do with a teenager traveling across a bunch of world with his phallic shaped wicking device while he foiled the plots of a 'neutral' organization' and more to do with... no, no actually that might be what it would be about. Riku would be his lover though.... as much as I do love Kairi.... anyway--

There was a slight tap on the door before the hulking figure of Dr. Lexaeus strode in. Recognizing his doctor, Roxas straightened up in bed. "Is something wrong?" He asked.

The large doctor scratched the back of his head, "Actually, I'm here to see Zexion."

"Oh..." Roxas blinked and looked around the room. Neither Axel nor Demyx was affected by the large doctor's presence. The red-head continued leafing through his magazine, while the blond was listening to his music. The only other person exhibiting life in the room was Zexion. The bookworm's eyes were torn away from the pages of his precious book, and were now looking at Dr. Lexaeus expectantly.

Feeling stupid, Roxas settled back down in bed.

The doctor pulled a chair up next to Zexion's bed. With the calmness and rationality that graced all tried and tested oncologists he began explaining Zexion's further treatment to the boy. Roxas wondered where the Zexion's parents were.

Zexion seemed to understand all the medical jabber perfectly though. He looked Lexaeus in the eyes, and spoke in a calm, practice manner. Like a miniature adult.

Roxas snorted.

Seeing Zexion was up to speed, Lexaeus stood. "Alright, Zexion, we'll resume treatment, tomorrow." Before he left, Lexaeus ruffled Zexion's hair slightly, a small gesture of affection. "Hey, Axel, how's that leg?" Roxas noted that it was more of a medical inquiry than a simple question.

Axel took it in stride as he did everything, "Eh, it's hanging in there. Hoping to keep it that way."

Lexaeus nodded before turning to Demyx, "Dem..." He shook his head the blond was too engrossed in his music to notice him, "You doing all right, Roxas?"

"Yeah, I'm ok." Roxas replied. He was still mortified from earlier.

"Well, all right." He raised a hand, "Er... have fun."

"Pfft." Axel shook his head, "Crazy doc." He looked up, catching sight of the faint blush that still tinged Zexion's cheeks. That certainly brought a smile to his face.

Zexion grumbled and buried his face in his book, trying to hide the fact that his blush had deepened a shade or two.

Demyx had resurfaced from his musical world, "I think it's cute!"

'Shut up." Zexion grumbled.

Roxas smiled, slightly, resting his head on his knees. It kind of reminded Roxas of the way he and Cloud would tease Sora. Or the way Hayner and Olette would tease him.

He sighed. Hayner, Pence. Olette. He really missed those guys. They'd dropped him a line before he checked into the hospital, but nothing since then. Roxas wondered about Axel, Demyx, and Zexion, if their friends ever dropped by. He'd seen Axel and Demyx's parents around, but from what he'd seen the four of them where the only teenagers on the ward.

That was probably why Axel and Demyx were making such an effort to make friends. They were the only teens there. If this was high school they definitely wouldn't be friends. Roxas was a freshman skate-rat; Zexion was a loner-- probably wouldn't be in the business of making friends anyway. Demyx... Roxas couldn't really place where Demyx belonged in the grand scheme of high school. Though that might just be do to his unconventional hairstyle. And Axel... Roxas sighed. He definitely knew the lanky teen wouldn't have anything to do with Roxas if they weren't stuck together in the same hospital room.

Roxas gave Axel a once over. The red-head was still teasing Zexion. His eyes lingered on the purple triangles beneath Axel's sparkling green eyes. Maybe they could have been friends. It was then Roxas remember Axel saying he broke his leg on a basket ball court.

The blond shook his head. He hated basketball.

A few hours later Axel decided he was bored. He pulled out a deck of cards. "Alright, get over here, guys. Anyone know how to do shuffling tricks?" He cut the deck, "Nobody? Aw. Come on guys."

Roxas sighed. Whatever, it was better than doing homework. "Fine, what're we playing?"

"Don't care." He grinned.

"Come play with us, Zexy." Demyx held out a hand to the smaller boy, "Axel cheats but-"

"Hey!" The red-head yelled, "Just because I kicked your ass at Go Fish doesn't mean I cheat!"

Demyx pursed his lips, "You 'guessed' right every time."

"Ok, fine we won't play Go Fish, happy?"

"Very much so." Demyx replied. He smiled at Zexion, "Come on." Zexion sighed, but accepted the offered hand.

A small smile came to Roxas' face. It wasn't home, but it was nice. For the first time in a long time Roxas though maybe everything would be okay.

"Alright, guys, the name of the game is Texas Hold 'Em."

"Aw!" Demyx groaned, "Can't we play something simpler?"

"Considering you already shot down Go Fish. No." Axel replied. His nimble fingers easily dealt out the cards.

"Aw, man, come on..."


	4. Promise Me

Disclaimer: Nope still don't own Kingdom Hearts. Beta still MIA. But yeah I might have a new one. Thank you, god of yaoi.

Roxas reclined in his bed. For the first time he actually felt normal. A small grin came to his face, and it'd be two weeks before he got his next cycle of chemo.

Even his family had clamed down some, now that he'd stopped heaving into a toilet every time they came.

"Oh, hell, NO!" Axel screamed from the other side of the curtains. This prompted some nervous looks from Roxas' family. Roxas shrugged, wondering himself what was up.

"Axel," Dr. Lexaeus' voice boomed above Axel's, "Look it's not that ba-"

"Look, Doc, I'm kind of attached to my leg--"

A woman's voice cut above the din, "Axel, honey, listen to the doctor."

"He wants to cut my freakin' leg off!"

"Axel, with prosthetics many people have done amazing things-"

"Yeah! Kids who've had it longer than their real legs!"

"Is... everything alright with him?" Roxas' mother whispered.

Roxas shrugged. The red-head had... osteo-something or other. They probably couldn't just cut out the tumor. Roxas shuttered at the thought of someone just cutting off his leg.

"Axel!"

"Don't Axel me!"

"Erm... knock, knock?" A nervous voice asked.

"What's up, Demyx?" Roxas replied.

Next to Cloud, Demyx materialized through the curtains. "Ah, do you know what's up with..." He jabbed his thumb over to where Axel's bed would have been. Axel punctuated the blonde's statement with a loud curse.

Roxas shrugged, "Dunno..."

"Roxas... who's your friend?"

Roxas looked up at his father, "Oh... this is Demyx..." Roxas stopped realizing he didn't know Demyx's last name. The older man nodded his eyes lingering on Demyx's hair.

"Um... well I should be getting back to the 'rents." He raised a hand, "Nice meetin' you all..."

"It was nice meeting you too, Demyx." Mrs. Strife smiled politely.

"Yeah, see you!" Sora grinned as well.

This seemed to relax Demyx some. That is until he almost fell face first into Cloud. Demyx muttered a quick apology before scuttling out of the room, an action which caused Cloud to roll his eyes.

"Well, he seemed nice." Mrs. Strife commented.

"Yeah... what was up with his hair?" Sora had to stifle a giggle.

"Um... well..." Roxas toyed with his sheets, "He had a brain biopsy... they had to shave part of his head..."

"So, he gave himself a Mohawk?" Cloud asked, a blonde eyebrow rose.

"Yeah, I guess..." Roxas' answer was drowned out by Axel's screaming.

"I don't care how good his is! I don't want him touching me!"

After the Strife family had cleared out Roxas sneaked over to Demyx's corner of the room. He was surprised to see Zexion was already there.

"Oh, hey!" Demyx smiled. He seemed more relaxed now, "Heh, if you woulda come a few minutes earlier you could have met my family."

Roxas scratched the back of his head. "Yeah... pity." The teen couldn't help but wonder what Zexion was doing there then. "So... well... do we actually know what's up with Axel?"

"Yeah, by what we figure--er Zex figures-- Axel's tumor is too big to cut out, so they have to lop the whole leg off."

"But..." Roxas paused. "Isn't chemo supposed to shrink tumors?"

Zexion shrugged, "It probably wasn't working fast enough."

Roxas' brow furrowed. Amputation... but no! Only war veterans had amputated limps. Not a teenager... not Axel.

Sensing Roxas' distress, Demyx quickly added, "We heard his surgeon's name. Dr. Saix. He's really good.

"Really..." Roxas eyed him.

Demyx blinked. "He didn't do this." He pointed to his head, "He ain't a neurosurgeon, Rox."

Speaking up quickly, Zexion added, "He cut out a few lymph nodes for me a couple of years back.

"Oh." Roxas thought about the implications of that.

Zexion raised a hand to his face, probably thinking of the best thing to say. "He's a very good surgeon. Axel should be fine."

"Yeah! Yeah! Losta people were operated on by him!" Demyx replied, "I've met 'em, and they're still alive!" Roxas couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at his statement.

"He really is a good surgeon." Zexion attempted to cover for Demyx's poorly worded statement, "He does what's best for his patients, even if it mean sacrificing flesh to save the patients life..." Zexion paused realizing he'd made a crucial error.

Roxas glared at him, "You don't get off the ward much, do you?"

"No... I don't..."

"Hey, Axel..." The red-head looked up. Sorrow pierced through his green eyes. "Are you... gonna be ok?" What a dumb question to ask.

"Tch..." Axel laid his head back down on his knees. Roxas noticed him rubbing his right leg.

The blonde cleared his throat again, "I... just wanted to say that I'm sorry about your leg, Axel..."

Axel sighed, "I like my leg, Rox. I've had it all my life."

"Yeah..." Roxas wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond to that.

"Heh, I guess you heard all about it..."

Roxas shook his head, "Naw, you were yelling too loud."

That brought a little smile to Axel's face, "Doc, didn't know what he was getting himself into." Roxas smiled and moved a little closer to Axel's bed.

"I guess not." He rubbed the back of his leg with his foot, before nervously sitting down on Axel's bed. The red-head didn't seem to mind.

"So..." Axel decided to direct the conversation away from himself, "First day off chemo, huh?"

"Yup." Roxas looked down at his hands, "Nothing like a round of chemo to make you realize how good you felt before."

"Yup." Axel swallowed, "When's the next cycle?"

"Two weeks."

Axel nodded, "I'm having surgery in five days." He sniffed, "Good ol' Lexy managed to push it through some." Roxas sat in silence for a moment before wrapping his arms around Axel.

"I'm sorry..."

"You didn't do anything..."

"But still..."

Axel lifted his head up some, so he could look Roxas in the eye, "Roxy, promise me when all this is said and done you'll shoot some hoops with me." He smiled at his own idea, "Yeah, you an' me verses Dem and Zexion." Roxas smiled weakly, "Aw, come on we'd destroy them."

"I'm too short for basketball." Roxas let his arms drop.

"Hey, Zex is about your size, and I've got a good inch on Dem, two if you don't count his hair." Axel smiled, "We'd crush them."

"Ok... if you say so..." The conversation came to a screeching halt. Axel tucked a red lock of hair behind his ear. Not for the last time Roxas was mesmerized by Axel's eyes. They were the deepest shade of green he had ever seen in his life.

Axel moved forward until Roxas could feel the older red-head's breath on his face. Roxas himself had stopped breathing a long while ago. A small mischievous smile came to Axe's face, as if he was planning what he'd do next.

And then...

The two moved back suddenly remembering themselves. Roxas stood, "I should get going... er back to my side of the curtain..."

"Yeah..."

Within moments Roxas was back in his bed, trying to put out of mind what had almost happened,

It hadn't happened though. That was a consoling though. Roxas settled down in his bed. Nothing had happened. No harm, no foul.

And without the red-head in sight, he was out of Roxas' head. In his mind he began to mentally go through his checklist, a habit that had crossed over from his previous life outside the hospital. He'd gone through one week of chemo. That was good. He wouldn't have to go through another torture cycle for two weeks. That was better. Things appeared to be shaping up for Roxas... except there was that mountain of homework waiting to be done. Roxas shuttered.

Oh noes! Roxy! Axel! Will the two ever finally realize how much they want to nail each other?! And what about Zexion and Demyx! And Axel's legs! How will they fair?! You'll just have to wait for the next installment... oh and review. Review's always make me feel special and make me want to update the story quicker.


	5. Preparation Day

Author's Note: Got me a new beta who I love to death. Also, it has recently been brought to my attention that the entirety of chapter 2 was **bolded**. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience, I have no idea why FanFiction did this, and I have no idea how to fix it. If anyone knows or has had this done to them and wants an excuse to yell about it leave a review. Or hey, if you liked this story leave a review! Think I should be doing something different leave a review! Just really like AkuRoku or Zemyx leave a review... and some constructive criticism! And now to your regularly scheduled disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Well it's been five chapters and I still don't own Kingdom Hearts, and it isn't looking good for me either. I do how ever, own a Heartless t-shirt because I am a heartless bastard but no one really cares about that so long as I supply sweet sweet shounen-ai.

The day before Axel's surgery was scheduled to take place, his mother and his brother came over early. Before long they had a nice little part going. Axel called it his 'going-away party', but seemed pleased anyway. However, Zexion retreated to the bathroom at the first sight of the celebrated. Roxas wished he could have disappeared with him, but Demyx and Axel had latched on him the moment the slate-haired bookworm disappeared not wanting to lose their other party-pooper.

When the Strifes and Demyx's parents arrived they didn't seem at all surprised about the party. Apparently they'd been planning it for a while in the waiting room. Roxas huffed, just like his parents, and Sora.

Demyx used it as an excuse to play music until Nurse Larxene burst in and told them to turn it off or else. As soon as Demyx was sure she was gone he turned it back on. Although it was much quieter this time.

It wasn't too bad. Roxas had it give it that. It was better than when his parents came in usually. With an endless barrage of the same questions, he might add. Demyx and Axel were enjoying themselves, though. But then again the two took any differentiation from the normal routine of drugs and lying around feeling like shit to enjoy themselves.

There was a rap on the door. Fearing it was Larxene again Demyx quickly shut off the music. Instead a different blond entered. "'ello!" Luxord raised a hand, "Heard there was a party."

"Is there a problem doctor?" Roxas sighed his mother had gotten extremely jittery when anyone of the medical profession entered the room.

"No, just making my rounds." He replied, "And I'm not a doctor, Mrs. Strife, just a Physician's Assistant, there's not need to call me that."

"Oh, alright, doctor."

Roxas sighed, he saw this guy more often then he actually saw his real doctor, but he wasn't sure where he fell into the hospital hierarchy. He could prescribe stuff, but he had to report to the 'attending physician'. Seemed like a waste of time and personnel to Roxas. Plus, he was never sure what to call him. Luxord preferred P.A. Luxord, but that seemed awkward and forced...

"So, where's Zex?" The British doctor continued in a cheery tone.

"He locked himself in the bathroom." Demyx replied. There was a hint of exasperation in his voice.

Noting it, Luxord replied, "He's probably just worn from Radiation." Demyx frowned at this but accepted the answer.

Strolling over to the bathroom door, he gave a quick wink before tapping on the door, "Oi, Zex, it's me Luxord."

Roxas could almost hear Zexion's grumble. Luxord was doing his rounds and needed to see Zexion, but the bookworm knew that as soon as he came out he wouldn't be allowed to go back.

Luxord tapped on the door again, "Oi, Zexion."

The door swung open and Zexion shuffled out, book in tote. Pleased with himself, Luxord finished up his rounds and strolled on out. Still glaring Zexion tossed his book on his bed and pulled the curtain around it effectively cutting himself off from the party.

"Oh dear." Mrs. Strife blinked.

Demyx sighed, shaking his head, "I'm going to go make sure he's ok."

"Honey, maybe you shouldn't." His mother started to say, but Demyx ignored her and disappeared behind the curtain. He wanted to help, Roxas knew. All Demyx wanted to do was help Zexion. But still... Roxas waited for Demyx to emerge from the curtain defeated.

But a minute passed and then another and still Demyx didn't emerge. The party rolled happily on. Out of the corner of his eye Roxas noticed Demyx's mother whispering something to Axel's mother and his mom. The blond brushed it off; if it was important his mom would fill him in later. It was probably just mom stuff.

"All right, ante up!" Axel grinned happily, "Time for the ward's favorite past time. Poker."

Axel's brother smiled and sauntered over to him. He looked a lot like Axel, Roxas noticed. He even had triangles under his eyes. Maybe it was a family tradition?

"Alright boys." He pulled up a seat next to Sora, "Be warned. I cheat, yo." He gave a smile eerily similar to Axel's.

Noticing he was the only on left, Cloud wandered over to the group and away from the adults.

"Everyone know how to play? Good--" Axel started to say, but Sora cut him off.

"I don't!"

Cloud and Roxas looked down, embarrassed of their brother.

A half hour later, Demyx emerged from Zexion's corner looking pleased with himself. He then rejoined his place at the poker table-- er-- hospital bed.

The group barely had enough time to start another hand when there was another tap on the door. Dr. Lexaeus, Luxord and a third man Roxas hadn't met before walked in.

Luxord caught sight of the game. His blue eyes twinkled mischievously.

Clearing his throat, Lexaeus motioned to the last member of the party-- a cold-eyed man with ragged blue hair and an x-shaped scar over the bridge of his nose, "This is Dr. Saix--"

"The crazy asshole who's going to cut off my leg." Axel's mood had turned in the blink of a brilliant green eye.

Saix didn't seem at all concerned. Perhaps, he'd had enough scared patients scream at him that it didn't matter to him anymore. Either way Roxas go what Demyx and Zexion had said earlier loud and clear. This 'Dr. Saix' was completely unconcerned with what was happening; he accepted and countered with a calm face. In other words he was a complete ass.

Still it was better than if he was an emotional twit who'd freak out the moment something went wrong. Roxas decided he was satisfied with the surgeon. He'd help Axel.

Axel, however, was still pissed off.

The party momentarily broke off while Saix explained in calm, grating voice the exact details of Axel's upcoming surgery one last time. Roxas wondered how he could be so disconnected. Perhaps, it was a defense mechanism, don't get connected and you won't feel horrible when they die. Or perhaps he was just and ass. Roxas shook his head. It wasn't his job to psychoanalyze this guy.

His job done Dr. Saix stood and left as coolly as he had entered. Lexaeus and Luxord offered up their condolences. Luxord even gave Axel's young mother a pat on the arm and gave her a wink. That didn't get great reviews.

With the doctors' exit, the party broke up for good.

The adults filed out together, their children in tote.

Axel claimed he was tired and decided to turn in early, leaving Roxas and Demyx alone.

Demyx smiled good naturedly at Roxas. The two were rarely left alone in the same room. They had conflicting schedules. "You're brothers were nice." He commented almost absent-mindedly.

"Cloud and Sora are ok, I guess."

"I never knew Sora was your twin."

Roxas shrugged, he was never into the whole small talk thing.

The door banged open, causing both Roxas and Demyx to jump. The blonde nurse in the doorway glared at them, "All right, all right. Time for bed, kiddos." She glared at them, green blue eyes sparking with electricity.

"Yes, ma'am." Demyx squeaked. The head nurse cast her gaze around the room before turning sharply and leaving, the light clicking off after her. In the dark, Demyx whispered, "Do you know where my MP3 player is?"

Roxas sighed; Demyx had to be the most forgetful person on the planet. "Check your drawers?"

There was a pause as Demyx pulled open his dresser drawer and fumbled around for his beloved music player, "Ok, got it. Thanks, Roxas."

Roxas rolled his eyes. What a goofball.

Still the darkness pressed around Roxas. In the morning Axel would be wheeled off to surgery. How many more of them would have to go through life saving surgeries? He didn't know what was happening to Zexion, but Demyx had brain tumors... they'd have to be removed one day, for certain.

At least he wouldn't be cut up like a piece of meat. The one good thing about leukemia, nothing to cut out. Maybe though, that was a bad thing... once Axel had his surgery he'd only need a few rounds of chemo. Then he'd be out on his new leg.

Whereas Roxas would still be in the hospital.

Roxas sighed and listened to Axel's soft, fake snoring allowing the noise to lull him into an uneasy sleep. The promise he and Axel had made burned bright in his mind like a star. Roxas latched onto it like a last beacon of hope.

Somehow they'd muddle through.

A/N: Yeah. I couldn't resist making Luxord a P.A. after my own Dad. But seriously they need more lovin' as they often deal with patients more then the actual doctors. True fact. Mrs. Strife calling Luxord a doctor is also a true fact. Practically the bane of my Dad's existence. Anyway next chapter is hour zero for Axel! But that isn't the only problems that'll be affecting our favorite cancer patients. Tune in next week to find out what happens!


	6. Waiting

Standard Disclaimers: Don't own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. I own nothing except my fan-boy fantasies which I chose to share with all of you, because I am a horrible, horrible person.

The problem with chemo was that it ate up so much of your time. Thus, when you were off it, you had no idea what to do with yourself. And you ended up worrying about a certain red-head who was getting his leg amputated.

Roxas cursed Demyx and Zexion for leaving him alone. They gust had to have chemo scheduled at the same time.

A light pair of knuckles rapped against the door. The door was gently pushed open revealing the younger blonde nurse.

"Oh... Ms. Namine, right?"

The petite nurse nodded, "Everyone's coming out to the dayroom, if you want to come."

"Eh... I'd rather not."

"Oh come on." Namine smiled, "It's better than sitting in an empty room."

"I don't really like kids."

"Oh, come on." She gave him a small smile. "Get out and stretch your legs some." She motioned with her head as if the matter had already been settled.

Roxas sighed and swung his legs off the bed. Namine accompanied him down the hall.

"Is everything ok?" Namine asked, "Nothing huts, no problem?"

"Naw," Roxas shook it off, "I'm feelin' good."

"That's good, and the others?" Roxas raised an eyebrow. The other blonde gave Roxas a small smile, "Some guys on the ward cling to the whole 'macho-man' persona. Sometimes it's good to get a second opinion."

By now they'd reached the dayroom. Breathing a sigh of relief Roxas slumped down into a chair. Namine perched delicately in a seat next to him. When it didn't look like she was going to leave Roxas racked his brain for something that resembled conversation. Nothing came to mind. He was really losing all semblance of social skills. Or maybe he just didn't have the energy to care anymore. Heh, pretty soon he'd be like Zexion.

That brought a smile to Roxas' face.

It was like a completely different world on the ward. No one got upset if you were too tired to do anything. No one make fun of you if you cried yourself to sleep at night. No one called you on it the next morning. With Hayner any sign of weakness was immediantly jumped upon and then made the subject of teasing for the next few weeks. He'd be a total wuss, when he got out, if he got out. Roxas shuttered.

"So," Namine picked up the conversation, "What do you like to do for fun?"

Roxas shrugged, "Not... baby sit kids...?"

The blonde nurse shrugged, "Um... well." She laughed slightly.

"Oh, right your job."

"I do more then baby sit!" Namine replied, "I'm studying to be an RN--a registered nurse."

Roxas rolled his eyes at the medical jargon he didn't care about, "If you're studying you should just go to be a doctor then."

Chuckling, Namine crossed her delicate fingers in front of her, "I like helping people. Doctors are more concerned with... well making them better. I want to help people feel better."

Roxas shook his head, "Ok, whatever Ms. Namine."

"Namine!"

The little blonde stood, "That would be my cue." Her hand gently touched Roxas' shoulder, "Take care, Roxas."

"I will." Roxas nodded.

The blond barely had time to blink before the children swarmed him.

By the time Roxas' ordeal was over, he was completely exhausted. He nearly dragged himself back to his room. Roxas slinked back into the room and flopped down face first on the bed. Nobody acknowledged his presence.

Pushing himself up from the bed, Roxas looked around. Both Demyx and Zexion were in the room. Zexion's book lay in his lap; he himself was pretending to read it. His blue eyes were stuck on one line.

Demyx lay curled on his bed. His eyes were closed, as though he were sleeping. Roxas knew better, "Hey, Dem." Roxas tried to keep his voice low, "You feeling' ok?"

The older blond nodded slightly. By now Zexion had completely given up on his book. Slowly, hesitantly Zexion dog eared his page and slipped out of bed. His pale hand lingered over Demyx's shoulder before lightly, gently touching it. He had barely enough pressure on Demyx's shoulder for the blond to feel it. Still the blond cracked his eyes some and looked up at Zexion. A weak smile came to his face. Zexion allowed his hand to slip down Demyx's arm and brought it back to his side. His eyes darted away.

His eyes still partially closed Demyx sat up some in bed. "Gimme a hand." Hesitantly Zexion help Demyx into an upright position. His hands fell limp to his sides.

Roxas caught Zexion's eyes, trying to ask the slate-haired teen what was wrong with Demyx. The other teen shrugged, slightly. He seemed more put off than usual.

Demyx made a small noise, causing both Zexion and Roxas to look over at him. By now Demyx was sobbing, his hands over his ears.

"Demyx...?" Zexion touched Demyx's shoulder again.

"Dem...?" Roxas sat up in bed, "Are you-- is he?"

Demyx opened his mouth and screamed. As impossibly loud sound for someone so frail looking.

"Roxas! Go get a nurse!" Zexion tried to keep an even to an even tone to his voice, but the hysteria was difficult to contain.

Suddenly feeling reenergized Roxas shot off the bed. Even out in the hall he could hear Demyx's screaming. Something about turning the noise off. Whatever that meant. The nurses must have heard the racket as well. Both Larxene and Namine were rushing down the hall already.

"He--I--" The two nurses rushed past Roxas, "Right, ok."

Back in his room Demyx had quieted some, every now and again a little sob would escape from his lips. Almost like he was in pain. The blond was leaning against Zexion, unable to support himself anymore.

Larxene bent down next to him. With her thumb she raised one of Demyx's partially closed eyelids, "His pupils are dilated."

Dr. Lexaeus rushed into the room "What's happening?"

Her strong fingers at Demyx's wrist, Larxene replied, "I think he's seizing, Doctor."

Lexaeus ran a hand threw his hair, watching Demyx's head jerk to one side. The doctor nodded, "All right, somebody stay with him. Larxene... call his parents." He glanced at Roxas and Zexion, "Don't worry he'll be ok."

"But-but-he isn't-" Roxas searched for the right word, "You know twitching!"

Lexaeus, Larxene and Namine didn't know how exactly to respond to this.

"That's a different type of seizure, Roxas." Zexion replied, "Different part of the brain." The other boy sounded tired.

"But-I-"

Lexaeus gripped Roxas' shoulder, "Don't worry he'll be ok. Seizures sometimes happen in patients with brain tumors."

"But can't you do something for him?" Much to his chagrin Roxas noted the hysteria in his voice.

"No, only to make sure he doesn't hurt himself... he'll be ok, Roxas. I promise." Roxas nodded, not feeling it necessary to tell the large doctor, he'd lost feeling in his shoulder, "Ok, stay with him." Thankfully, Lexaeus let go of his shoulder.

Larxene also left, probably to call Demyx's parents. Namine lingered though saying she had to time the seizure.

"Why?"

"It's relevant information." Namine replied, "If he has another seizure we need to see if they're getting longer and more violent." She looked up at the clock.

"Oh."

Demyx's head jerked to the side, causing him to gasp/sob again. Roxas noticed Zexion's brow furrowing.

"Did you notice any other symptoms?"

Zexion nodded, "He was having an auditory hallucination. Something about static or white noise." Zexion shook his head and readjusted his grip on Demyx's shoulders.

"He seemed... scared." Roxas added.

"Like he was having a panic attack." Zexion elaborated. Demyx's head jerked again.

Namine nodded, "Alright thanks." Demyx's head jerked one last time before all was still. He slumped a little more into Zexion's shoulder.

The petite nurse waited a few more moments before she stood. "Alright boys, he should be ok. Just let him sleep it off." She smiled politely before turning on her heels.

Sighing, Roxas sat down at the foot of Demyx's bed, "Well, that was terrifying. His own heart was still racing in his chest, "Eh?" He looked over at Zexion. The slate haired teen was still cradling Demyx in his arms. His nose was nestled in Demyx's dusty hair, "Aren't we supposed to let him rest, Zex?"

"Oh... right." Gently Zexion set Demyx down. Just as gently Zexion pulled the hospital sheets up around Demyx.

"... You ok?"

"Yeah." Zexion's voice was nice and even. The exact same voice he used to talk to doctors.

"He'll be ok."

"I know." Zexion sighed and sat down, "I know." All that time the teen hadn't taken his eyes off Demyx. It was starting to make Roxas uncomfortable.

"Do... do you want me to leave?"

Zexion's head shot up. "No. No." He trapped his hands between his legs.

The blond sighed and allowed a couple of tense minutes to go by before excusing himself to the bath room.

Roxas stared into the bathroom mirror willing himself not to think about Zexion and Demyx... or himself and Axel. Maybe that's why they were all so... weepy. The blond shook his head. No, nothing was happening between he and Axel, they were just friends... going through a hard time. Roxas snorted. Oh yeah, how could he possibly forget that time Hayner broke his leg skateboarding and Pence cuddled up to him.

He shook his head.

So many things were happening all at once. Puberty, Cancer... Axel. Roxas sighed vowing to nip whatever relationship was forming between he and Axel in the bud... and perhaps shove his tongue down Olette's throat when she came in, if she came in. As for Demyx and Zexion... whatever, it was better than watching Zexion pine over doctors... so long as Demyx was ok with it. Roxas figured there wouldn't be a problem.

The blond straightened, running a hand threw his blond spikes trying to get them to stand up without the use of all-powerful hair gel. It failed spectacularly. Gulping, Roxas noticed how much hair came away with his hands. Roxas shuttered.

"Hey, Zexion--" Roxas peeked his head out the door. Fortunately, Zexion had gotten his emotions under control.

The teen raised a finger to his lips, "He's waking up."

"Oh, sorry." Roxas sneaked back to the bed.

Demyx was blinking sleepily, "... hey..."

"Hey yourself." Roxas replied, "You gave up a scare."

"Yeah?" Demyx seemed confused.

"You don't remember? You had a seizure!"

"Sometimes after a seizure a patient doesn't remember them..." Zexion replied.

Demyx gave Zexion a weak smile, "You... have pretty eyes."

Both Roxas and Zexion choked.

At this point Demyx's mother rushed in, "Oh my god, Demyx." She nearly danced around Roxas and fell down next to her son. Zexion muttered something that sounded like 'hello' and trapped his hands between his legs, "Honey, how are you?"

"Ok..." Demyx murmured his eyes closed slightly.

"Did the doctors fill you in on everything?" Zexion asked.

"Oh... yeah." The woman ran her hands threw her dusty blonde hair, "The nice one... Lexaeus."

Zexion nodded.

"How are you dear...?" Her eyes jumped to Roxas, "Dears?"

The two muttered something that sounded positive.

There was a tap on the door. Roxas and Zexion's eyes jumped to each other. Fortunately, a man with a shock of fiery red hair, poke his head in the door, "Hey, just thought I'd let you know that, after six an'a half hours the goof's outta surgery, yo."

--Oh Roxas. You always mess up the good parts. First chapter without Axel, I was actually kind of upset while writing this. Stay tuned for the next chapter in which Roxas does really shove his tongue down Olette's throat--no just kidding-- or am I? You'll have to wait and see--but I really am kidding.--


	7. Amputee

_**Disclaimer: Ah, the sweet, sweet smell of boy's love. Can you smell it? Well I can, and it smells like me not owning Kingdom Hearts. Yup... Chapter 7 folks.**_

_**Axel was in the ICU for the next few days. That left the ward very boring. Or at least that's how it felt to Roxas. The second week of his reprieve from chemo his family managed to steal him away from the ward. It was good to be home, and to goof off with Sora and Cloud and play video games for hours on end. Hayner, Pence, and Olette with a mountain of homework in hand.**_

_**Around lunch time on the second day Roxas began to feel run down. By evening he was back on the ward with a round of antibiotics.**_

_**Unfortunately, Axel was already asleep by the time Roxas was settled down in his nitch. Demyx was also knocked out, his MP3 blaring in his ears. Since Zexion was no company, that only left sleeping as well.**_

_**Roxas always had vivid dreams. When he was seven he camped out in Cloud's room for a week because of a nightmare about a monster in his closet. His dreams tonight were haunted by a different sort of monster. A monster with flaming red- hair.**_

_**It was all too vivid. Color in shades a thousand time brighter than Roxas had had ever seen. He could see all the pores in Axel's skin, every stand of Axel's hair. It was almost like some kind weird whacked-out drug induced dream. Only better.**_

_**Axel's mouth enveloped Roxas'. His hand wound itself in Roxas' blond hair. The kiss deepened. The two continued to press and move and-**_

_**Roxas awoke in a cold sweat. "Damn." He muttered as he fell back in bed and ran a hand threw his hair, "Damn it."**_

_**"Dreamin' 'bout you girlfriend?"**_

_**Roxas' head shot over to the side. Axel was lying on his bed, back toward Roxas. The blond hadn't even realized, "Oh yeah."**_

_**Sure, if said girlfriend was actually a boyfriend who wasn't really a boyfriend, and said almost boyfriend was Axel.**_

_**"She cute?"**_

_**"Unbelievably so..." Roxas found himself saying.**_

_**"Cool." He faked a yawn signaling the conversation was over.**_

_**Roxas ran a hand threw his hair, "... unbelievably... cute."**_

_**The blond shuttered.**_

_**Even by the next morning, Roxas still couldn't shake the impact of his dream. Just the weird result of a fever some weird drugs.**_

_**He didn't have long to ponder the meaning of his dream however the door swung open and the hulking figure of Dr. Lexaeus strode into the room. With one hand he brushed his wiry hair; the other was holding a clipboard. His eyes skimmed the papers before he strode over to Roxas' bed, "Good morning." He muttered.**_

_**"Yeah, morning." Roxas grumbled back.**_

_**"So..." Lexaeus skimmed the clipboard, "You had a slight fever, but because of the nature of your case, we have you on IV antibiotics. We'll let the drugs run their course for another two days then set you back on chemo in four days time. Sound good?"**_

_**"Sure." That's what Roxas liked about Lexaeus; he didn't beat around the bush.**_

_**"Right... I'm sorry, I've got to go." He stood, "The entire ward's backed up. Luxord and the rest of the nurses are doing the best they can, but I have no idea what Dr. Marluxia's up to." Lexaeus mumbled, striding off.**_

_**Roxas distinctly heard Zexion add a "Good riddance." to the last bit.**_

_**The nurse who was supposed to come for Axel was late. The red-head used this opportunity to lie in bed back turned to the rest of the room. It occurred to Roxas that maybe Axel was put off by the 'girlfriend' comment. After all he'd almost kissed Roxas- the blond attempted to forget he'd**__** almost kissed Axel back. Then again Axel must have been handsome before this mess began; he probably had someone special too. Roxas brushed the thought from his mind-along with all the other thoughts of his dream. If it didn't happen... well it **__**didn't**__** happen.**_

_**Eventually, Larxene came up for him.**_

_**The blonde nurse brought him up again, too, once physical therapy was over. **_

_**He continued to ignore the other three. Which was fine by Roxas. He was ignoring the red-head as well. Except... when he thought no one was looking.**_

_**And the days rolled on.**_

_**Roxas was taken off antibioltics, and Demyx was moved up to the ICU for pneumonia resulting from his seizure. Zexion burning threw another book, and Axel continued to ignore the world. Meanwhile Roxas continued to dream of Axel.**_

_**He even made a guest appearance in the 'I-went-to-school-without-putting-pants-on-dream.' He was in boxers as well.**_

_**Chemo started up again. Starting up the usual aches and pains associated with the treatment.**_

_**It was the third day of chemo when Roxas began to wonder if maybe Axel had grown bored with them all. Perhaps, he longed to be home with his friends, to slack off and shoot hoops. Besides his mother and his brother he hadn't gotten any visitors. His brother brought in his homework, although occasionally he'd pass on a message or two. But no real visitors.**_

_**Maybe once Zexion had friends, too. Good friends who he discussed plot points in books with and gushed over other boys with. Then he got cancer. And they found someone to replace Zexion. And he retreated into the world of Russian novels which Roxas couldn't decipher the names of. Maybe, one day they'd all retreat into something. Demyx into his music, Axel into his memories of his glory days, Roxas into his mind. Maybe Zexion wasn't the weird bookworm who never talked to anyone, but the three of them once the ward had broken them.**_

_**"That should be it for today." Vexen, the chemo-tech, interrupted Roxas' revel. Roxas' hated his place. It was like a mad scientist's lab, and Vexen really looked the part. Especially, what with the whole 'injecting people with strange chemicals' job. You couldn't pay Roxas enough to do his job.**_

_**Which was why Roxas liked to high tail it out of there as quickly as humanly possible. Rather, as fast as the nurse would allow him. Fortunately, Larxene led him off as Vexen was beginning yet another long explanation. He'd be pissed. Somehow, Roxas failed to care.**_

_**Zexion had managed to squirrel himself away somewhere. Big surprise. Axel was off in the emo corner. Big Surprise.**_

_**"Tch..." Roxas dropped into the bed.**_

_**"What?" Axel asked.**_

_**"Oh-ho, so the Big-man on the ward finally decides I'm worthy."**_

_**Axel looked up, eyes glaring, "What's that supposed to mean?"**_

_**"Oh, nothing just that you went from being practically my best friend to completely ignoring me in a couple of days." Oh, niiice move Roxas.**_

_**"Tch--" Roxas cut Axel off mid-disgust.**_

_**"Yeah, I get it. None of us here are **__**really**__** friends!" When the words started, it was hard to stop him, "None of the little kids like Demyx's music and all the nurses are too old for you, and nobody will leave Zexion alone like he wants! I get it! We only talk because we're stuck in the same room! I get it! You wouldn't like me, and I wouldn't like **__**you**__**!" Ouch.**_

_**The red-head looked away, "That's not what I was going to say."**_

_**"Oh? Oh?" Roxas laughed, "What were you going to say?"**_

_**Axel bit his lip, "Um..."**_

_**"No, 'cuz none of us wouldn't be friends. This is all just a fluke!" Roxas growled, "It's stupid to think otherwise."**_

_**Axel sat up slightly in bed, "Naw... we're just different."**_

_**"Do you understand the concept of clichés?"**_

_**"So..." Axel mulled it over, "... what? We're friends now right? Who cares?"**_

_**"I care!" Roxas heard his voice rise and struggled to get it under control, "I have great friends who don't even visit me in the hospital! Great friends, I don't need you guys!"**_

_**Axel looked down, "I have friends, too..."**_

_**Roxas ignored him, "Then you traipse into my like and suddenly-" the blond struggled, "You and me and I... and a couple of weeks ago you came this close to... kissing me, and now you won't talk to me. What am I supposed to think? Demyx and Zexion--" Roxas shook his head, "You can't keep ignoring me--everyone!"**_

_**"... I'm scared ok?" Axel yelled, "I've lost a leg, lost any chance to be normal! Lost all my friends- I'm losing my mind- I." Axel gritted his teeth and shook his head, "Are you happy now, huh?"**_

_**"No!" Roxas yelled back.**_

_**"Well--good! Misery loves company, right?" He grinned though it was more of a grimace, "Got it memorized, Roxy?"**_

_**Roxas glared back.**_

_**Both teens leaned back glaring steadily forward waiting for the normal routine to kick in. After a few long minutes Axel consented to say, "... you almost kissed me too, you know."**_

_**Roxas grimaced; he'd been repressing that, "So?"**_

_**"Well, ... what about your girlfriend?"**_

_**Shit. Time to save a little face, "Tch, do you see her around?"**_

_**"No... but..." Axel surveyed him, "Over before it started?"**_

_**"Yeah..." The whole shove-tongue-down-Olette's-throat failed miserably. Somehow he hadn't found the will to. Plus, she'd get upset.**_

_**"Well the..." Axel paused, "I don't have a girlfriend either."**_

_**"... what are you saying?"**_

_**"Nothing, nothing." Axel looked down.**_

_**Roxas noted a dilemma. It was difficult to helpfully let someone know you're interested in them from about five feet away. However, he couldn't just get up and walk over to Roxas' bed...**_

_**There were plenty of reasons why Roxas shouldn't move over. Axel would definitely know he was interested-- which he wasn't. He'd worked hard to prove to people at school he wasn't gay, this would totally ruin it. He felt like he was going to puke...**_

_**But there was really only one reason why to go over there, and it was staring him in the face.**_

_**Roxas slid out of bed and walked over to Axel's praying that nobody'd walk in on them.**_

_**"You were right." Axel muttered, "You, me, Dem, and Zex wouldn't be friends if this was real life, but it ain't! Nobody's here to judge us. Nobody will say anything. An' it's better than being alone, right?" Roxas didn't answer, "Nobody'll care, Roxy."**_

_**Roxas felt like saying 'I will', but instead he replied with, "Then what about when one of us gets out of this place?"**_

_**The red-head bit his lip, "Well..."**_

_**"Exactly."**_

_**"... Inch by inch life's a synch."**_

_**"Dr. Lexaeus told you that."**_

_**"... I... don't want to hook up over cancer."**_

_**"Look, Roxas." Axel leaned forward dangerously close to Roxas, "We could die. Do you really want to die without knowing? Let me die? Nobody... will know except people who won't care... when it ends it ends but we might as well have a little fun."**_

_**Somehow what Axel said made a little sense.**_

_**"Ok, then..."**_

_**Axel grinned happily--mischievously, "Great then."**_

_**"... This is the part where you're supposed to ki--" Axel cut him off, his mouth overlapping Roxas'. The blond felt himself melt. After a short moment Axel moved away.**_

_**"Happy now?"**_

_**Blushing deep red, the blond muttered, "Yes."**_

_**Roxas shuttered.**_

_**In this week's new it's PA appreciation week! I kinda wish Luxord could have been in this chapter to celebrate.**_

_**Wow. Some actual gay that Roxas didn't interrupt. It's a PA's week miracle.**_


	8. Finders Keepers

**Hey look! It's Chapter 8! Thanks to A Pin Drop for helping me get chapter 2 un-bolded. I swear it's a miracle I'm on the internet at all. In other news we're more than half-way done with the story! Considering this story's been in the works for almost two years (for me at least) I'm a little sad to see know the end is coming. But look, a disclaimer!**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Kingdom Hearts. Still not looking good for me.**

**Maybe it wasn't a cool idea.**

**"We will eventually consider a BMT." Lexaeus murmured.**

**He and Axel, perhaps they shouldn't kid themselves.**

**"But--" His mother sounded unsure.**

**"It's relatively safe." Lexaeus assured, "A lot of patients end up having the procedure." His eyes moved to Zexion almost reflexively.**

**Exactly what was he thinking? Not much obviously. He wasn't gay, just... a little confused.**

**"Anyway we shouldn't have to worry about it for a while--"**

**Axel's eyes shifted to Roxas. The red-head gave him a small inclusive smile. Roxas felt his head begin to pound.**

**"--A couple of months at the least."**

**Roxas' head shot over to Lexaeus, realizing he'd missed the entire conversation.**

**"I think--" Lexaeus consulted his chart, "We'll move him up to one week cycles and keep him on the ward. If that's ok with you?"**

**"He doesn't look that sick." Cloud pointed out. He was shushed immediantly.**

**"If that's what you think if best." Lexaeus nodded, "Alright then..." Mrs. Strife's eyes drifted over to Demyx then shot down to her lap.**

**"Don't worry, Mom, I'll be ok." Just gay, but there's nothing wrong with that, right?**

**His mother smiled knowingly and took his hand.**

**"With that in mind, I wish you all luck, that and assure you that we're giving Roxas the best care possible."**

**Mrs. Strife nodded, signaling, Lexaeus it was time to go.**

**"Well, goodbye, honey." Mrs. Strife gave Roxas a quick kiss.**

**"Mom!"**

**"And you three as well." Mrs. Strife added.**

**"Say hi to my mom." Axel replied from the pages of his magazine the exasperation was well noted.**

**"Bye!" Sora chimed in as he was led off.**

**"Sounds like you'll be having fun." The sarcasm was also well-noted in Axel's voice. Roxas rolled his eyes, "Is that really any way to treat me, Roxy?"**

**That caught Demyx's attention. The blond pushed himself up slightly in bed, his eyes weary, "What happened to you?"**

**"Huh?"**

**"Before I left the ward, you were all glum an' now you're all happy again." He paused, "What am I supposed to think?"**

**Axel laughed, "You aren't supposed to think, Demyx. Just sit there and look pretty." The blond laughed dryly. "No, it's true!"**

**Demyx shook his head and lay back down, cradling his head in his arms.**

**He still looked bad from his recent illness, Roxas noticed. Much worse than Roxas had. But then Demyx was a lot sicker than Roxas. And Demyx was always in a sad shape. Poor guy.**

**He sighed slightly before drifting off into an uneasy sleep. Roxas and Axel looked across at each other before going back to their previous activities.**

**The afternoon passed serenely, almost boringly. The schedule rolled on, shaping up to make a boring day on the ward.**

**The door banged open, "We lost Zexion."**

**"What?"**

**Namine took a deep breath, "We don't know where he got off to!" She took another deep breath and steadied herself, "Do any of you know where is could have gone?"**

**The three shook their heads.**

**The little nurse nodded and left undoubtedly off to go to find her lost patient.**

**"Should we go look for him?" Roxas asked.**

**Axel nodded but caught himself, "Tch, like I can."**

**Already stumbling out of bed Demyx muttered, "I think I know where he went."**

**"Really?"**

**"Yeah," Demyx nodded. He stumbled slightly.**

**"Here." Roxas slipped out of bed, "Let me help you." The other blond nodded and accepted the help, "Just sit tight, Axel."**

**"Not like I can do much else." The red-head grumbled.**

**"Where's the elevator again?" Demyx muttered.**

**Raising an eyebrow Roxas guided the other blond to the elevator. Nervous, Roxas looked around for any upcoming staff members, "Why didn't you tell Namine where Zexion is?" Demyx merely shrugged.**

**The elevator dinged and opened. Thankfully it was empty. Once boarded Demyx hit the button for the top floor and the close door button, "What's he doing up there?" Roxas exclaimed.**

**"Probably thinking." Demyx replied, "Thank you... for helping me."**

**"No problem."**

**Two blonds waited with held breath for the elevator doors to open. It took impossibly long, but eventually the doors pushed apart. Demyx rushed forward through the doors to another door, leading to the outside. Roxas followed much more slowly. Demyx flung the other door open and stepped out into the biting old. True to his word Zexion was outside. Instead of following him Roxas slipped down behind the door.**

**"It's going to rain soon." He heard Demyx say.**

**"Probably snow."**

**Roxas could see the scene unfolding. Demyx moving over to Zexion. His hand moving around Zexion's skinny shoulders. The slate-haired teen didn't struggle against the other's touch. Instead he welcomed it, a ward to the cold.**

**"You'll get sick."**

**Zexion rebutted it with, "You'll get sicker."**

**Not knowing how to respond to this Demyx stood there, Arm around Zexion's shoulders, "Everyone's looking for you downstairs."**

**"I'd expect."**

**"Hm...." Demyx tightened his grip.**

**Now Zexion turns away, "I'm never going to leave this place..."**

**"No."**

**"This is the second time they lymphoma's come back. I'm going to die in this place."**

**"No, you're not." Demyx stuttered through the sentence, "You'll get better--"**

**"Then I'll get sick again."**

**"N--" **

**Roxas peeked around the door catching sight of Zexion kissing Demyx. The smaller teen nearly had to stand on his tiptoes to reach but still he pressed his lips to Demyx. The blond seemed shocked.**

**After a moment Zexion moved away. Roxas also retreated behind the door.**

**"You're right, it's going to rain."**

**"Wait!" Demyx caught Zexion's hand. There was a long pause, but this time Roxas stayed behind the door. A few tense moments later the foot steps resumed and Zexion and Demyx appeared. The three boarded the elevator, Roxas feeling like the proverbial third wheel.**

**"... You two shouldn't have come." Zexion muttered.**

**"We were worried about you." Demyx replied.**

**"Still..." The two seemed uncomfortable.**

**Roxas eyed them, "If there's something you want to do you should do it... preferably outside the elevator, but..."**

**"Thanks Roxas." Demyx had turned a deep red.**

**"Um... so exactly what are we going to tell the nurses?" Roxas asked.**

**Apparently neither Demyx nor Zexion hadn't thought of that.**

**It turned out not to be much of a problem. The three had barely taken a step on the ward when the nurses swarmed upon them.**

**Roxas glared and breathed out one word, "Axel."**

**As soon as they walked in the room Axel started yelling, "Ok, you really can't blame me! It's not like I could say, 'Oh, Roxy and Dem are just in the bathroom together! But don't go in there 'kay, thanks'!"**

**"Traitor." Zexion muttered.**

**"That's a little extreme don't you think."**

**"No." Zexion replied.**

**"Oh, sure me."**

**Maybe we will."**

**Roxas sat down thinking over the conversation he'd overheard. Zexion thought he was going to die on the ward. The second time he was here... **

**Roxas cut Axel off mid-argument. The red head was startled at first, but he snaked his arm around Roxas' waist, pulling his closer. His mouth opened slightly allowing Roxas in closer.**

**Reputation be damned.**

**Roxas! You dog! Listening in on Zexion and Demyx's special moment. At least you didn't ruin it for us readers. Tune in next time when Axel cheats at Go Fish... again. **


	9. Eternity

Wow. How long has it been since I uploaded this? Too long. Well I haven't died! Still here! Still interested in finishing this! Thanks to all you guys who favorited this, and added it too your story alerts! And especially to all you guys who left comments! I really appreciate it. Well I know you're not interested in me blabbering on and on. So here's to you disclaimer!

Disclaimer: I think we all know who Kingdom Hearts really belongs to.

* * *

On the ward life consisted of cycles and schedules. Any problem presented was easily smoothed over by yet another schedule. Pre-prepared packages of life.

In some ways that made it easier than read life. Sure, there were more aches and pains and you felt like you were ninety-four when you were fourteen, but there was schedule and order.

Life followed one rule: Do what you can while you still can.

Roxas wondered if this qualified him as being out of the closet. Maybe, but he was still 'on the ward'.

The whole group seemed happier, even Zexion. No much, but Roxas figured any improvement was a good sign. Zexion had been isolated for too long.

"Alright, Dem..." Axel paused, "Got any, sevens?"

The dusty blond stared, before throwing down his cards, "I'm not playing with you anymore, Axel."

"Hey! Hey! Just because I have mad skills--"

"You're cheating."

"Prove it."

Demyx faltered, but was saved by Lexaeus, Luxord and the infamous Dr. Saïx. He seemed as aloof as before.

"What're we playing, boys."

"Well, Demyx is epic failing at Go Fish." Axel replied with a grin.

"Axel cheats." Demyx grumbled.

Unsmiling, Lexaeus muttered, "We need to talk to Zexion."

As if he expected it, Zexion shuffled off Axel's bed and retreated to his corner.

Roxas stared at his cards trying not to listen to Dr. Lexaeus and Dr. Saïx go over the intimate details of Zexion's upcoming surgery.

This was Zexion's second time on the ward. Dr. Saïx already operated on him once. Would that be Roxas one day? Would he be back here a second maybe third time until he finally succumbed to disease?

Both Axel and Demyx were quiet at well.

Roxas shuttered. Axel lost one leg already, and Demyx had already had brain surgery, and would probably have it again. Would they be back again? Would Axel lose another leg? Demyx might have another seizure. And Roxas himself.... nothing truly horrific had happened to him yet. But what would? What sacrifice would he have to make to stay alive?

Roxas shuttered.

Their duties done, the three men exited. Zexion stood and excused himself to the bathroom.

Roxas willed his mind to think of other things. "You know something? I've met both of your parents, but I don't think I've ever seen Zexion's mom and dad."

"Me neither." Demyx aid his eyes turned to Axel.

The red-head shrugged, "Apparently, they just sign the consent forms. Dr. Lex's been trying to convince them to come down for a while but they're 'too busy'." Axel air quoted.

"Oh..." Roxas looked down wishing he hadn't asked.

Axel suddenly took great interest in his cards, "Probably why he's so anti-social..."

"I think his dad's a lawyer or something." Demyx shook his head, "They'll probably sue if he dies."

"It'll be the only time they come to the hospital."

The conversation ended abruptly, as Zexion came out of the bathroom, "So... ah... where we're we?" He asked.

"You ok?" Demyx asked.

"Yes." Zexion waved it off, "It's nothing."

This warranted a raised eyebrow, but for the sake of Zexion's sanity they said no more.

It was Roxas' week off, but he still felt horrible. Worse then ever before.

Lexaeus' face was unreadable as he spoke. "You'll probably need a BMT-"

"Um... a what?" Roxas asked. He'd learned a lot-- namely ask questions.

"A bone marrow transplant." Lexaeus elaborated. "We'll be starting you on radiation treatment in a few days."

"Oh..." Roxas looked over at his parents. Their faces were resigned. "So... um, bone marrow transplants, that requires a donor, right?"

Lexaeus nodded, "Yes. Sora will be the donor."

Sora?!

Roxas looked over at his fidgeting twin. Sora who could barely manage getting a shot was going to donate bone marrow.

"He is the closest genetic match after all." Roxas' mother wrapped an arm around Sora's shoulders, "Right?"

Lexaeus nodded, "Pretty lucky."

"Yeah. Lucky." Roxas grunted. Right.

The day Zexion left for surgery. Demyx had another seizure.

The same as before, complete with auditory hallucinations and involuntary head jerking.

Somehow seeing it a second time made it all the more horrifying for Roxas. Axel was all a twitter too. He had only heard about the first one. Somehow this only made Demyx more upset.

Roxas wished Zexion were there. He'd know what to do. Or at least give a big long explanations using words like 'temporal lobe' and 'post-ictal'. Even if Roxas had no clue what it meant it was comforting to know someone else had a clue.

"Hey." Axel caught Roxas' arm and pulled him close to his mouth. Roxas' skin tingled from the red head's hot breath, "Dem, got sick last time from this, right?"

"Yeah. Something about fluid in his lungs." Roxas replied.

Axel's brow furrowed, but he released Roxas' arm. He was probably thinking the same thing as Roxas. Demyx couldn't afford to get sick again. He'd lost a lot of weight from his last bout with pneumonia.

He was sleeping, now. Roxas figured that must be a good thing. Demyx needed a deep sleep, one uninterrupted by dreams or doctors.

Unsure what to do, Roxas returned to his bed. "... Axel?"

"Yeah?" The red-head asked, his eyes left Demyx.

"Do you figure we'll be back?" He swallowed, "Like Zexion."

Axel didn't answer right away. His mouth opened once, then he shut it again.

He was spared from answering by Demyx's mother.

Zexion's surgery went well. Routine and completely normal. Roxas thought the book worm would enjoy knowing that. He'd be back at the ward soon. And Roxas' would be leaving it.

Radiation wasn't fun.

Well, big surprise there. Hardly any treatments on the ward were 'fun'.

It was like his insides were dying. Slowly, being micro-waved. Like a baked potato. Pretty soon Lexaeus would jab a fork in him and pronounce him done.

Axel was picking up though. Re-juvenized by the knowledge that he'd soon be leaving the ward. Freedom was so close he could almost taste it. Then he could put the entire ordeal behind him. Lock it up in a little box in his mind and only pull it out again when it was time for college applications.

He'd walk out of the ward, his newly discovered sexuality in hand. Find a new boyfriend. One who's body wasn't ravaged with cancer and chemo drugs. He'd never have to think about Roxas again. Never have to see his gaunt face, or hear his weak voice. It'd be as if Roxas had never occurred.

He'd never have to think about Zexion or Demyx either. Nor about the unconventional relationship they shared. Not about Ms. Namine, or Luxord, or have to worry about Larxene catching him staying up late again. He'd never have to think about Dr. Saïx either although his missing leg would always be a memento of the cold surgeon.

His only contact with the ward would be Dr. Lexaeus.

And bound by hippa laws the good doctor would never be able to tell them how he was doing.

And who knew? Maybe by some miracle all of them would get out alive. And then what? They'd all return to their normal lives, never wishing to see or think about their hell on earth.

Axel's long warm finger's coiled in Roxas' hair. His other hand lay on Roxas' thigh. Their mouths moved together until they were mere inches apart. Roxas felt his breathing slow and stop.

Finally, Axel bridged the gap between them. Unsure of what to do Roxas let Axel guide him through the kiss. Two mouths moving in harmony. Perfection at Roxas' lips.

Axel leaned forward deepening the kiss. Dizzy, Roxas' heart pounded. It was as if the room was spinning out of control.

But he and Axel were perfectly still.

It could have been an eternity later when the two separated. Let it be an eternity, Roxas didn't care. Three words hung heavy on his tongue but somehow Roxas didn't have the courage to say them.

* * *

Well holy shit. Once again Roxas didn't ruin something for us! Yet another miracle. Leave reviews for more miracles!


	10. Parting Ways

Disclaimer: It's been ten chapters. I don't own Kingdom Hearts any of it's characters. I am a smile fan boy who enjoys yaoi and torturing imaginary people for his own sick pleasure, and sometimes the pleasure of people on the internet.

* * *

Sora had checked into the hospital, momentarily occupying Zexion's bed. The nurse's hadn't wanted to spilt up the twins or Roxas, Demyx and Axel up.

It was odd seeing someone else in Zexion's bed. Almost as if Zexion was just a decoration, to be taken down and put up in accordance with the seasons.

Stranger still, was having Sora- even momentarily-on the ward. But Sora had wanted to stay with his brother, and no one could resist his big blue puppy-dog eyes.

If Roxas had that power he'd try to use it on God, if there was a God. Try to have him get rid of world hunger, and reality T.V., and cancer.

Somehow, Demyx figured no powers of cute would be able to persuade God otherwise.

Axel snorted, "Oh I get it. Sora. Roxas. Pretty funny."

"Hilarious." Roxas grunted. "You just figured that out?"

Axel rolled his eyes and returned to his magazine. It was obviously more interesting than Strife family naming schemes.

"So..." Sora fidgeted, "What do you do for fun?"

"We have a lot of free time." Axel replied dully, and flicked another page, "I leaf through magazines, Zexy reads, Dem listens to music, and Roxy glooms and dooms in his head."

Roxas glared, "I do not."

Setting down his magazine, Axel looked over at the younger boy, "I highly doubt you're thinking about sunshine and puppy dogs up there."

Roxas didn't have an answer to that.

XxX

Sora was taken away shortly.

The brunette was not relieved in the slightest by the mammoth anesthesiologist. Truth be told the man frightened Roxas too, with his large figure and long braids, but it was better than being conscious when the doctor inserted a needle into your hip bone.

Roxas could almost imagine the procedure, his imagination and medical drama knowledge running wild. At least Sora would be ok, he was a sturdy kid, he'd bounce back. Roxas wondered if the hospital gave out doughnuts after the procedure like they did when people gave blood. Sora might like that.

Absently, Demyx asked, "Does anyone know where my mp3 is?"

Roxas closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.

Getting no answer from either Axel or Roxas, Demyx voice his question again. Sensing Roxas was awake he asked, "Roxy?"

Angrily, Roxas sat up in bed, "No, I do not know where you damn mp3 player is." Feeling exhausted, he lay back down, eyes screwed shut.

"Oh..." Roxas could hear the hurt in Demyx's voice, but was too tired to feel guilty.

Axel sighed and set down his magazine, "Diddya check in your drawer, Dem?"

The blond answered in the affirmative, but got up to search around anyway. After a few moments there was a soft "Oh."

Roxas opened his eyes a crack. The older blond was staring at his sheets, the recently found mp3 abandoned on the desk. Apparently, Demyx wasn't in the mood to listen to music anymore.

Roxas should have felt guilty, but didn't.

He still didn't feel guilty when Demyx had yet another seizure. This one more violent and longer than the other two.

He pretended to be asleep when the doctors came in to talk to his parents.

"We'll have to operate soon." Lexaeus muttered.

Demyx's mother opened her mouth to object.

"The chemo isn't working as well as we hoped." The oncologists brutal honesty cut the woman, "We should act before he gets too weak."

"All right, if you're positive."

"Tch." The neurosurgeon- Roxas guessed cut her off. He was very different from Saïx. His hair was pulled back into a salt and pepper ponytail, and a large pronounced scar cut across his face. More worrying was the patch that covered one eye. Absently, Roxas wondered how he injured his eye, but decided he didn't care, "Come on. It's not like we're doing brain surgery over here."

There was a long silence following the surgeon's words, in which Roxas decided he hated the man, purposely choosing to forget about all the slips and badly worded phrases of comfort he and his friends had made. It felt good to hate someone intensely and this... Dr. Braig Xigbar was as good a man as any.

Lexaeus decided to ignore his colleague's badly worded statement. "It's the best chance he's got." Roxas noted his almost pleading tone. He wondered if that was something Lexaeus learned over the years, how to manipulate patients. The big doctor place an arm on the young woman's shoulder, "If we don't act... he'll probably die."

The words hung in the air, but despite Xigbar's words, and her own reservations the woman resented.

All because of a certain Dr. Lexaeus.

Demyx's mother left quickly when the doctor's were done. Probably off to phone her husband, and the rest of the family.

"Roxas?" Axel murmured. Roxas didn't answer, so the red-head called out to him again, "Roxas? Roxy, I know you're awake."

Roxas lay still, ignoring Axel. If he ignored the red head long enough he'd go back to his magazine, probably.

For a moment it seemed like he would.

"It's ok if you're scared, Roxas." He finally muttered, "We're all scared. You, me, Demyx, even Zexion. None of us want to die. None of us want to die. None of us want to see each other die. And it's sad but anyone of us could die. And... it's sappy, but we need each other now... maybe more than ever. And yeah, Dem can be annoying, but, still..."

"Shut up, Axel."

"Don't be this way, Roxy. Don't lose faith. Please, don't lose faith."

Roxas sat up in bed facing his boyfriend, "Faith? Faith in what?! In God?! Tell me what kind of God puts tumors in some guy's brain, or cuts off your leg, or gets Zexion sick, twice." Roxas fumed for a second before lying back in bed, "I don't have faith to lose."

Axel sighed, "I can't tell you about God, Roxy. I can't tell you why he does what he does, hell or if he even exists, but don't lose faith is us... in you and me."

Roxas eyes darted over to Axel. There was a look of agony on his face, that no drug, no surgery could produce. True agony.

The blond looked away. He was tired of agony. Tired of Zexion's aloofness, of Demyx's excessive sunshine, of Axel's pleas.

Bring on the bone marrow transplant. He was ready to get out of this place. Even if it meant he'd be doomed to Hayner and Pence's teasing for all time, and Olette asking to take pictures. Even if his entire family hated him. Hell, even if his entire school tortured him. Cloud himself could spray pain the word 'faggot' across his locker and Roxas wouldn't care. He was ready to be done.

Roxas trained his eyes at the blank space above Demyx's bed.

There was a small sigh. Axel'd be going back to his magazine now. Roxas thought he should be satisfied. He wasn't.

Five feet was a long way.

There was a soft weight on his bed, Axel. The red-head took Roxas' face in his hands, for a moment it looked like he was about to say something. Instead he lifted Roxas' face and brought it to his mouth. Just for a moment before he broke away.

Roxas looked away, at Axel's empty bed. He--the spunk and attitude of the ward--would soon be gone. And another body would take his bed.

The red-head kissed the top of Roxas' head, "We made a promise, right?"

"Yeah." Roxas muttered. A stupid promise, but still a promise.

"And we're going to kick Zexy and Dem's asses right?'

"Sure..."

"Oh come on, where's your team spirit?"

"... it has cancer."

"Oh..." Axel looked down.

Gently, Roxas kissed Axel's lips, "But who knows. It might get better.

A small warm smile came to Axel's face.

It was t hen the doctors came in. Sora's bone-- treasure-- in their hands. They'd set Roxas up with an IV of the stuff. It'd transfuse into his body.

And then he would be made truly alone.

* * *

I had the 'it's not brain surgery' joke planned from the begining :is shot:

And that just about wraps it up for today my lovely readers. Stay tune for the next chapter in which Roxas goes insane and gains future telling powers. But as it is just a dream. As always please review for they strengthen Zexion's odd sensations in his neither-regions when he thinks about Demyx's booty.


	11. Dreams of You

Disclaimer: I still don't own Kingdom Hearts. If by chance I do wake up and happen to own it, I'll alert you all first.

* * *

Pain.

Writhing agony. Like nothing Roxas had ever felt before. The doctors said is was his body accepting Sora's bone marrow. Roxas didn't really care what the doctors said any more.

Because in a sterilized room none of that bull shit mattered anymore.

The air tasted funny, not like real air, but distilled and processed, removed of anything real. It was necessary. To protect Roxas from getting sicker.

But wasn't this treatment supposed to cure him?

XxX

_Roxas blinked, once, twice, and sat up. Looking up, a small beach had unfolded around him. Complete with palm trees and crystal clear water. In the distance he could vaguely see Zexion and Demyx making out on a pastel beach towel._

_"Wow..."_

_"Hey, it's your dream."_

_Roxas looked up. Walking up to him was none other than Axel. Roxas thanked his sub-conscious that Axel was wearing swimming trunks and not a Speedo._

_The red-head stretched out next to Roxas on the beach towel. "So, what's up?"_

_Roxas glanced over at Demyx and Zexion._

_"Oh." Axel watched Zexion rip off Demyx's trunks, The red-head cleared his throat, "Besides that."_

_The blond sighed, "Nothing much really... just dreaming."_

_"Hm?" Axel blinked momentarily distracted by Zexion and Demyx._

_"Axel?"_

_"Oh, right," Axel grinned, "Missed my cue."_

_"Running the dream."_

_"Sorry." Axel leaned over and kissed Roxas' lips. This time there was nothing in them to slow them down. Axel's tongue slid casually into Roxas' mouth sending shivers down the young boy's spine._

_After a moment, the two broke apart. Somewhere off in the distance Demyx moaned Zexion's name. Loudly._

_Both Axel and Roxas laughed at this._

XxX

It was hard for the Strife family to organize visits. But it was truly a rare event for all three Strife boys to be together alone.

Sora gibbered on incessantly about the bone marrow donation. How it wasn't that bad-he didn't know why he was so scared- and that he was sorry for worrying Roxas- and that his hip had barely hurt afterwards.

Cloud sat in a corner of the room, frowning through his mask.

XxX

_Roxas blinked._

_Before him sat a chessboard. And across from his sat Zexion. He appeared to have recovered from the previous dream._

_The slate-haired bookworm started and Roxas, a hand covering his mouth, "You're white."_

_The blond blinked again before realizing Zexion was referring to the chess pieces. "Oh right." He muttered before moving a pawn._

_The two exchanged moved slowly trading pieces._

_"You shouldn't be afraid." Zexion murmured taking one of Roxas' bishops._

_"Afraid of what?"_

_"Axel and you." Zexion replied, "What will be will be. And what won't, wont."_

_Roxas sighed, "It won't be. I can tell you that. we'll either get better and leave each other or we'll die."_

_The book worm seemed agitated now, " And if you do break up, then you'll just date Hayner or someone else! What's important is not missing out on each other." He took Roxas' last knight, "Because one of you might... die." There was a look of desperation on his face, "And you'll realize... how much you missed out on, by being stupid and cagey and--" Zexion seemed to be choking on his words, "How much you really love him, but never got to tell him..."_

_Roxas mulled this over in his mind._

_The book worm sighed and looked up at Roxas. For the first time the blond realized how blue Zexion's eyes were. Demyx had been right. "That's all I have to say. By the way, checkmate."_

_"Shit."_

XxX

His mother was holding his hand, stroking his head, doing everything just to touch her son. His father was telling him to buck up and that he'd be back on the ward shortly. Roxas sensed they were hiding something from him but he was too tired to care.

Reality was too painful, he wanted to go back to his dreams.

XxX

_It was laughter that awoke him this time. Demyx._

_Roxas' eyes popped open._

_Perched on the hospital bed across from Roxas sat Demyx._

_He was different though. His face was full, roundish almost. There was a healthy tan to his skin too. Although he still wore his hair in a make-shift Mohawk, his hair was different as well. The dusty looks looked like they belonged to a sixteen year old instead of a sixty year old. Even his clothes had changed. A vintage tee-shirt and tan shorts. Roxas smiled, very Demyx._

_The new Demyx raised a hand. "Come over."_

_Rolling out of bed, Roxas noticed that he was still in his hospital gown. Tentatively, he sat down on the edge of the bed. Demyx smiled cheerfully and offered Roxas' one of his head phones. Eager to see what music the new Demyx listened to, Roxas accepted it._

_Strange, melodic string music filled his ear, "What is it?"_

_"Demyx closed his eyes, a look of peace came over his face, "Ravi Shankar. A sitar player."_

_The name struck a cord with Roxas, but he couldn't remember where he had heard it from. He'd figure it out later._

_"This is his Evening Raga." Demyx opened a blue eye, "Do you like it?"_

_"Yeah." Roxas lied._

_Chuckling, Demyx murmured, 'You don't have to listen if you don't like it."_

_Feeling a little guilty, Roxas handed the ear phone back, the strange melody burning his ears._

_"I'm glad I got to meet you, Roxy. I'm glad I got to meet everyone."_

_"I'm glad I got to meet you too, Dem." Roxas looked down. "And I'm sorry I snapped at you--"_

_Demyx waved it off, 'Don't think of it." He stood up, "Hey, I got someone waiting for me." He winked, "And so do you."_

_The door slid open and a new Zexion peeked out. He too looked healthier, his hair shinier, though it still fell into his eyes. A book was tucked underneath his arm. Roxas could have laughed._

_Demyx did. He linked arms with the smaller boy and the two walked off down the hall, together._

_Still smiling, Roxas heard someone else laugh. A nice laugh, fully and happy with just a mischievous hint to it._

_"Axel." Roxas thought the red-head's name rather than spoke it. But Axel seemed to get the point anyway._

_After all it __was__ his dream._

_Axel's hand's slid up his shirt. Roxas could have noticed his hospital gown had metamorphesized into normal clothing. He decided to ignore it, choosing to think only of Axel's tongue in his mouth, Axel's long fingers tracing pattern beneath his shirt. Axel._

_The two leaned back against the bed sheets, their legs tangling up in each other. Axel's kisses trailed away from Roxas' mouth and down his neck. The blond gasped slightly. His hands roamed over Axel's strong back and up through his hair._

_Ecstasy._

_Roxas caught Axel's kisses again. Their mouths moving in sync. Had Roxas had time to think he would have thanked Demyx and Zexion for leaving them alone. But there was no time to think. There was only Axel._

_Axel broke away from the long kiss. Smiling sadly, he said, "It's time to wake up, Roxy." Gently, he kissed Roxas' forehead, "I'll see you soon."_

_"Alright." Roxas replied, "Axel?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too, Roxas." Axel kissed him one last time on the lips._

XxX

"Well, Roxas," Dr Lexaeus looked at his clipboard, "Everything seems to be in order. Are you ready to get back to the ward?"

Sitting straight up in his bed, Roxas nodded, "Yes, yes I am."

* * *

I know chess doesn't work like that, it just seemed to be an appropriate ending for that dream. Also I find it funny that Demyx and Zexion get more action together in Roxas' own dreams then Roxas and Axel get, ok, ok so it's off-screen but really. Whatever.

Reviews are always nice. Especially as a holiday present for _moi_.


	12. Procession

Hope you all had a happy holiday season! I would have submitted this as a Christmas present... but it's sort of a un-present....

Warning: In which I am a horrible person.

* * *

Roxas couldn't stop staring at the empty bed before him.

He buried his face in Axel's chest, but he still saw it. An empty bed. A symbol of defeat. Of death.

Demyx, the ward's ray of sunshine, was dead.

XxX

"I'm going." Roxas decided.

"Roxas, honey, you can't go." His mother tried to explain, 'You're still sick. I-"

Dr. Lexaeus stopped her, "Maybe... it would be good to let him go. To say good-bye to his friend."

That seemed to decide it.

Xxx

Roxas walked beside Axel. The older red-head's hand firmly clutched in his fingers. He'd only been to one other viewing before, a grandfather he barely knew. Roxas thought he died of cancer, too. How strange.

Zexion walked before them, his shoulders hunched. The small boy looked beaten. He'd been kicked while he was down. Something was clenched in his hand, but from his position, Roxas couldn't see what it was.

As Zexion walked up to the casket, Axel and Roxas broke apart. Axel leading Roxas a head of him. The red-head's warm fingers grasped Roxas' shoulders. Zexion paid his final respects to his boyfriend's body and slipped his treasure into Demyx's cold fingers and scuttled off.

When he moved away, Roxas realized what Zexion had given the boy. Demyx's beloved mp3 player.

Tears welled up in Roxas' eyes, blurring his vision. That was good, though. He couldn't bare to look at Demyx's corpse. The fresh scar that cut into his skull. This gaunt skin. This twisted look of pain on his face. Dead people were supposed to look peaceful, damn it.

Roxas broke free of the line and collapsed onto a bench. Cupping his face in his hands, Roxas began to sob.

A few minutes later Axel sat down next to him, wrapping his arms around Roxas' thin shoulders. "It'll be ok, Roxy."

Roxas hated himself. He was being consoled at Demyx's funeral. Demyx, the son, grandson... boyfriend. But still he found himself sobbing, "I didn't get say good-bye! I didn't get to say sorry!"

"I know..." Axel pulled Roxas into his chest allowing the blond boy to cling to his shirt and cry. "I know, Roxas." He rubbed the blond boy's bad, "Sh...." He faltered, "I miss him, too." Axel buried his head in Roxas' hair. A few tears leaked out of his eyes. "Stupid ass, dying on us all. Who gave him permission to die?" He repeated it to himself, the anger bleeding out of his voice, "Who gave him permission to leave us?"

Xxx

Demyx's mother didn't want to start the actual funeral without Zexion. Roxas hadn't realized how close to Demyx's family was. But it made sense. Like her son, the woman wouldn't stand by when someone was suffering. It was almost like the bookworm was part of their family. The things you miss.

Needing a break from the funeral, Axel and Roxas offered to find him.

"Try the roof?" Axel asked.

"Bathroom. It's closer."

"Yeah. He thinks like me." Axel motioned to his prosthetic leg.

"Does it hurt?"

"No. Not really. Just a pain to get used to."

Roxas gritted his teeth, they were making small talk. Demyx was dead-- and about to be buried forever-- and they were making small talk. Roxas felt like crying again.

They almost missed the small boy. Zexion had curled up in a stall his feet up.

"Zexion, it's time for the funeral."

The bookworm uncurled, and allowed himself to be led off.

"Zex..." Roxas detached himself fro Axel and gave Zexion and awkward hug. The slate-haired teen didn't react. It was as if his emotions had died and shriveled up inside of himself. Like before Demyx had barged into his corner of the room. "I'm sorry..." What a dumb thing to say.

Zexion didn't answer. He staggered along as if in a stupor. One of Axel's arms was draped around his hunched shoulders, but he didn't seem to notice.

XxX

It was raining at the grave site.

As if the sky was mourning the loss of its sunshine as well.

People were invited to say a few words. Demyx's father mumbled a few words about what a good son Demyx had been. A few of Demyx's old friends stood and said a few awkward words, too. His old music teacher mumbled something about the loss of a great musician, as well.

But in the end, Roxas realized that's all they were. Word. No one could truly sum up Demyx's too short life. Or the agony of losing him too soon.

Roxas glanced over at Zexion, wondering if he too would try to do it justice. He didn't seem to have the heart to do so, for it was in the casket.

Slowly, Demyx's grave was filled in. But oddly enough with every shovelful of dirt dropped into Demyx's grave, the weight on Roxas' chest lifted some.

Demyx wasn't in pain anymore. He wouldn't have to suffer through any more terrifying seizures. Or anymore embarrassing tests. He'd get to float on clouds and listen to music all day long. He wouldn't have to worry anymore about what functions the cancer would steal from him next.

And best of all, Demyx would never lose his mp3 player again.

XxX

Axel spent the night in Roxas' bed. The two pressed as close together as they could in the tiny hospital bed.

The two didn't have to heart to wake up Zexion when he moaned Demyx's name. Roxas closed his eyes. He knew what those dreams were like. And how painful reality was when you woke up.

"Rox?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I'm going to be leaving here soon."

"I know."

"I'm going to come back to visit." Axel assured.

"Promise?"

"Hell yeah. What kind of boyfriend would I be?"

Boyfriend.

Roxas sort of liked the sound of that. It sort of eased the ache in his chest. He suspected that Demyx would have been happy for him.

No. Roxas knew that some where Demyx was happy for him.

Roxas buried his head face in Axel's chest. "Axel... I love you."

"I love you too, Roxas." He grinned, "Got it memorized?"

Roxas banged his fist against Axel's chest, "Stop saying that! You're ruining the moment!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"No your not!" Roxas smacked Axel's chest a few more times, "Stop being and asshole!"

"Hey! You're the one who's abusing me! And is going to wake up Zexy!"

Roxas fell still, upset with himself.

Taking this opportunity, Axel whispered into Roxas' ear, "But I do love you."

That had a good sound to it too.

XxX

Roxas watched Axel rush around collecting the last of this things. His mother was trying to help him but only succeeded din getting in his way. Reno wasn't even making an attempt. Smart move.

"Axel, honey, we're supposed to be checking out!" His mother sounded exasperated, with good cause.

The red-head through a stack of back issues on the bed. "What the hell is this? A hotel?"

There was a rap on the door, and Lexaeus walked in, "Hello, just wanted to see how the discharge is going. From your neighbor's complaints, I take it not well."

Axel slapped a hand to the wall. "Thin walls. Won't believe what I've heard the neighbors doing."

Lexaeus blinked, "They're six."

"Oh... ok we were being loud."

The doctor nodded, "Alright, try to keep it down."

"That'll be tough for me." Axel replied.

"I know." Lexaeus shook his head and left the room.

Glancing around, Axel sighed, "Aw, screw it. Someone else can have my back issues."

"That might be wise." Axel's mother shifted.

"Ok. See you, Zex!" The slate-haired teen didn't look up, "See you, Roxy!" He kissed Roxas' check, "I'll be back soon-- to visit!"

Roxas smiled and waved. No way was Axel ever setting foot in the god forsaken place again.

* * *

:is shot:

So what did you think? One beta felt Demyx's death came out of left field and the other thought it was quite logical through a string of semi-logic (She knew someone was going to die. It couldn't be Roxas as he was the narrator, couldn't be Axel because he was Roxas' boyfriend, couldn't be Zexion because he was too sick, and because Zexion was the sickest it would have to be his boyfriend, Demyx. After the last chapter she basically came up to me and said 'Well now I know it's Demyx. You're a bastard.' See and you thought I was kidding about the prophetic dreams.)

So tell me what you think. And keep your fingers crossed for the last chapter!

:is shot again:


	13. A Promise Kept

Ahahahaha.... Last Chapter.

Disclaimer: You've stuck by me for thirteen chapters. Ya'll should know I own nothing except my hopes and dreams.

* * *

The first new arrival came the Friday after Axel left.

A boy maybe a little bit older than Roxas himself. He was handsome enough, long silvery hair and clear sea-green eyes. That'd be gone soon.

The boy took his place in Axel's bed. Perhaps the nurses sensed it would be too soon to fill Demyx's bed. Too much like he was gone for good. Roxas shuttered. Either way the boy sat up straight in bed, looking dazed as his father and Dr. Lexaeus talked at him. Roxas recognized that look.

"Riku." The boy- Riku- looked up at his father, "Be good, and get better quickly." The silver haired man commanded.

"Alright, good-bye, Father."

The silver haired man nodded and glided out of the room. Roxas was chilled by the cold formality between the father and son.

Lexaeus lingered for a moment, perhaps sensing another Zexion-in-the-making, but left quietly, unwilling to overstep his boundaries with this particular patient.

"So... Riku." The boy looked up at Roxas, "That's your name, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm Roxas, and that's Zexion." He motioned over to the quiet bookworm. Riku looked surprised as if this was the first time he'd noticed the boy.

Remembering the deck of cards Axel had left him, "Do you want to play cards or something?"

"No." The boy replied flately and rolled over, his back to Roxas.

XxX

A day went by, then two. A week fluttered by in such a manner. Riku's father, a lawyer named Sephiroth, came twice. Demyx's mother came to visit Zexion- and Roxas- a few times, while Zexion's own parents remained absent. There was talk of discharging Roxas and even a few hints at Zexion's own discharge. Riku's father attempted to bully the staff into giving Riku a private room. Larxene bitched. Zexion ran off to the roof. Cloud and Sephiroth nearly came to blows in the waiting room. And Dr. Marluxia conspired to take over the cancer ward from a Dr. Xehenort Xemnas. In the comfort of the staff lounge of course.

And still no Axel.

XxX

Watching his brother attempt to make friends with the newcomer Riku, Roxas decided he couldn't complain. He had Axel for a few wonderful months, that was good enough for him. He had all of them, Axel, Zexion, Dr. Lexaeus, Ms. Namine... and Demyx, for a few wonderful and horrible months. And he would have them forever in his memories. And that was good enough for him.

The blond smiled when he noticed Sora blushing. Riku grinned, slyly, secretly proud he had put that blush on Sora's face.

XxX

Three weeks later, Roxas sat alone in his hospital bed. Riku and Zexion were down for chemo. Roxas smiled, Zexion's last cycle of chemo. Hopefully, the last for the rest of his long, long life.

He'd have to evacuate to the day room soon. Roxas wondered if he should get a head start and take the good chair.

The good chair'd have to wait.

There was a rap at the door. Wondering who could possibly be up for a visit, Roxas watched the knob turn, and the door push open.

"Axel?"

Roxas nearly flew off the bed and tackled the red-head.

"Hey! Hey! Roxy, calm down! I promised I'd be back!"

"I know. It's just good to see you." Roxas nuzzled his face into Axel's chest, too happy to see Axel to be mad the red-head hadn't come up in three week.

"Well it's good to see my visits mean so much to you." The red-head replied. "Help me up. New leg still isn't corroperating."

Giddy almost, Roxas offered a hand to Axel. The red-head looked exactly like Roxas remembered him. Or at least the way he remembered him from his dream. Healthy, happy, mishievous, Roxas couldn't help himself, popping up on his tip-toes, he kissed Axel's lips. The red-head didn't seem to mind.

Without help, Axel maneuvered himself over to his old bed. He grinned at Roxas, lost in thought. Not able to contain it, Roxas grinned back.

Easily, the two talked for nearly half and hour, filling in each other about what was happening. Roxas had just finished reporting on Cloud and Sephiroth's almost fight when Riku stalked in.

"Who the hell are you?" Riku yelled, upset that someone else was sitting in his bed.

"Axel. You might have heard some of the nurses talkin' about me."

"No." Riku replied flately. The silver-haired teen crossed his arms.

Axel raised his hands, "Sorry, dude. This used to be my bed."

"Your bed." Disbelief layered Riku's voice.

"Yeah." He rolled up his pant leg revealing his prothetic leg, "Osteosarcoma. Had my leg amputated. What about you?"

"Um..." Riku faltered, "Leukemia..."

Standing, Axel stretched, "Dayroom time?"

Roxas nearly jumped off his bed at the idea, Riku was less enthused.

At the dayroom, Axel was attacked by children. Exited to see him again they swarmed over Roxas and Axel.

After a nearly endless parade of dolls and toy cars, the two were finally given their much deserved alone time.

"So..." Roxas mused over his next words, "Before you said you didn't have a girlfriend."

Axel grinned and pulled out a picture from his back pocket. Roxas remember that picture. It was from Axel's party.

Still grinning, Axel pointed to a small boy with thinning blond hair, and bright blue eyes, "I tell 'em, that's my boyfriend. Got it memorized?"

Roxas grinned and kissed Axel's cheek, "I'm going to need a copy of that."

"Already planned for that. Got one for Zexy, too."

Roxas grinned down at the picture. A dusty blond had his arm looped around the neck of a slate-haired teen. the blond was grinning like an absolute maniac, his deep blue eyes the only thing left alive of him. "I think he'll like this a lot."

XxX

Right now Roxas really regretted his choice in clothes involved dark colors. His t-shirt had nearly glued itself to his back from dried sweat. Swallowing, Roxas bounced the basketball once, twice. Tie game. He was on the foul line with two shots. They'd decide the game.

Raising the ball, he shot it at the basket. The orange ball made a beautiful arch before it slammed into the ground. Air-freakin'-ball.

Roxas was too short for basketball. He sighed as Cloud bounced the ball to him, his elder brother's face inscrutible.

Roxas glanced to his right. All eyes were on him now. Roxas felt the hair of the back of his neck rise. Did they have to stare at him?

Even Zexion was staring, his blue eyes turned away from his contraban book he'd smuggled along. He looked so much healthier than a few week ago. A bit happier too, although Roxas noted sadly his parents were nowhere in sight. Somethings never change.

Roxas let out another little sigh.

His eyes drifted past Zexion. Demyx's mother stood next, the little dusty haired woman was probably responisble for Zexion's attenion. Suddenly, Roxas disliked her. A clan of red-head's came next. Axel and Reno, along with their mother. The two were containing their enthusiasm, but twin green eyes glittered with manic excitement. The strife family stood next. Roxas' father while not saying anything aloud, looked as though he was willing athletic success for his son, his mom looked as though she'd be happy if the ball hit the rim. Not being able to help himself, Roxas rolled his eyes.

A little ways off Sora and Riku stood. Sora was cutting off the circulation in Riku's arm, obviously his twin didn't have much confidence in Roxas. Taking his eyes off the worst twin brother a guy could ever ask to trade in, Roxas looked at the newest member of the hodge-podge family, Riku. The silver-haired teen evidently inherited his father's debate skills and weasled his way into getting an hour off the ward, to come to the game. The hour almost up, he was the reason Roxas was being put on the spot.

Riku motioned with his hands, signifying Roxas to hurry it the hell up.

Roxas stopped. What an ass, Roxas though, serioiusly questioning his brother's taste in men.

The blond shook his head. No, basketball now, questioning Sora's sanity later.

Roxas bounced the ball once more, and lined up the shot like Axel had taught him to. Offering up a little prayer to the god of basketball, Roxas shot the ball.

The ball glided lazily towards the hoop. Roxas gulped, but the ball hit the backboard and dropped neatly into the hoop. The blond let out a breath he wasn't aware he'd taken, and was immediantly tackled to the ground.

Roxas stared up into Axel's vibrant green eyes. The red-head was grinning ear to ear, ecstatic to have won, and proud of his boyfriend. Still grinning, Axel leaned down and kissed Roxas. A tingling sensation passed through Roxas' body as he kissed Axel back.

Roxas shuttered.

* * *

Ack. It's done. Well this is you guys last chance to drop a review. Just kidding.

Anyway major thanks to all of you who favorited, added to their alerts, reviewed and generally motivated me to get off my lazy ass and type up this story. You helped bring about the gay, guys, and for that I am thankful.


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